The Monster's House
by Rexan
Summary: Nami assigns Usopp a job that will let him buy nearly anything he wants, but Usopp has no idea what he's getting himself into when he accepts. - One shot.


_Turns out this is a first-person canon character story. I didn't intend for it to be like that at first, but when I accidentally wrote 'I' instead of 'Usopp,' I was like, "Hey! Why not give it a try and see how it turns out?" Somehow, I think it turned out better than if it had been done in third person... Anyways, I just really hope you'll enjoy this.__  
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"Usopp," Nami started, "there's a rich lady who's looking for someone to watch her house while she's gone for the day."

"Yeah, and?" I asked, pouring some of my special-made Tabasco sauce into its ball. "What of it?"

"You're the least recognizable of us, considering our Wanted posters."

I sniggered and then commented, "What about Sanji?" After that remark, I placed the finished Tabasco Star into my satchel and looked up at Nami; it's not a good idea to give her any kind of idea that you might be ignoring her. Ever.

She sighed. "Look, this person is paying an _extremely _large sum for doing such a dumb chore. I would send Brook if it weren't for the fact that he's a skeleton… and his obsession with panties. Plus," she added this last part with a sly wink, "I'll let you keep ten percent of what the lady gives you. You can do whatever you want with it."

"_Really?_" I excitedly jumped up. Nami giving even a mere ten percent is a great and rare bonus! Suddenly glancing down at my satchel that was much more empty than usual, I mumbled, "I really need to buy more supplies, too."

Nami looked at me, her hopes rising again. "Then you'll do it?" she happily exclaimed while clapping her hands together, though I noticed she was trying to keep her voice down.

"Yeah, sure, but… if you're giving me ten percent, how much will that be?"

"10,000 berry."

"T-t-ten thousand!" I yelled. "That'll be _more _than enough to—"

As abruptly as anyone can get, Nami slapped her hand over my mouth and hissed, "Be quiet, or I'll have the rest of the crew coming after me for this job. Now keep your trap shut about it, okay?"

I feebly nodded my head.

Removing her hand—that had left a decent sized slap mark around my mouth—from my face, she then gave me a sharp look, as if she was trying to see if I would keep my word. Or nod. After a long second, she said, "Good," with a curt nod. "The job's tomorrow so be ready for it," she commanded.

"Y-yes, Nami!" I gave her a salute, but she harshly smacked my hand.

"You don't need to do that." She rolled her eyes. "We're pirates, not Marines."

"Right." I cringed; 'an annoyed Nami is a bad Nami' is what we say in the crew, and it's completely true. …But, it's kind of a problem since she's nearly almost always annoyed, anyways.

—

With the sun almost completely behind some hill, casting an orange-red glow over everything, I finally reached where I was going to. "Well, this seems like the place," I murmured, looking between the address printed on the flier and the one on the house's mailbox.

And, then… I looked up from the flier and away from the mailbox.

The house… Man, was it huge. Five stories up and a quarter of a mile to each side of the door. I couldn't begin to imagine why someone would want such a humongous house. The thing, though, was that leading up to the door was a carefully arranged stone pathway, two hundred meters long, that was outlined with all of these different hedge animals. Also, there was verdant, green grass going along each edge of the house, as far away from it as the pathway extended out.

"Dang…" I breathed. My stomach flip-flopped at the thought of having to watch this house. Even though it was only a single day—_And night!_ was a disturbing thought running through my head—it would still be tough if someone broke in. Finding _anything_ or any_one_ would be a task in itself.

"Okay, okay," I trembled, trying to gather my courage. "It's time to go in."

Warily making my way towards the door that seemed much too far away from the beginning of the path, I couldn't help but glance at each of the animals that had been painstakingly cut into the hedges. There were alligators, tigers, snakes, sharks, lions… Almost every animal that could possibly come to mind was on either side. But, of course, they were almost _all_ carnivorous beasts. And, their _eyes_. If it were possible for hedge animals' eyes to watch someone almost no matter where they were, these ones did.

Each of the animals were scarily life-like, too, which sent shivers down my spine, each one feeling like a bullet. Also, the sun was just a nearly invisible sliver of light, and the day's last light being cast over the animals made their shadows grow long, and it also shadowed their eyes to make it seem like they were glaring at me, too.

After what felt like way too long, I finally reached the front door. It was a few feet taller than me and ten feet wide, made completely of polished wood. "Sheesh. Too much effort into everything." I couldn't help but roll my eyes at such a show-offy place. Then I remembered the Thousand Sunny. _Okay, 'don't make stupid comments' is rule one for talking to this lady_, I mentally noted.

The doorbell took me a moment to find, but when I did and I pressed it, a musical chiming came from the inside of the house. Really, it was more of a ten second wind chime-sounding tune than a simple _ding dong_ that is typical for houses. But, then again, what was I expecting from some place so big and fancy?

Impatiently waiting, my fear got the better of me. "There's probably gonna be some creepy old hag that owns this mansion, and the reason she's so rich is that she murdered her husband, and now she's going to get me, too! Then she'll steal my money from my cor—Wait, I don't have any berry with me—_But still!_"

By the time the door finally opened, I was quaking and my legs were trembling horribly.

Someone was about to say something to me, but before they had the chance, I shielded my face and screamed, _"Don't eat me!"_

"Ea-eat you? Why would I…?" I chanced a glance up from the safety behind my hands, and what I saw was a woman, probably in her late fifties or early sixties, wearing a casual dress with a colorful flower pattern stitched in. There was no threat I felt from her, so I took my arms down and just stood there, now just feeling more stupid than anything. "Oh. Are you here to watch the house for tonight and tomorrow? Then no _wonder_ you thought I was going to eat you!" She began to happily chortle. "It's been a while since someone's taken the job, even with me increasing the reward every year."

"Huh?" _And… there go my legs… shaking again…_

She tilted her head to the side slightly and asked, "Are you okay? It looks like something's growing out of your face."

"What are you—? Hey! That's my _nose_!" Now I was on the defensive.

"Oh! I see it now!" Beginning to laugh, she then turned away and told me, "Well, come on in. You're much more than welcome."

"Miss?" And, now I didn't want to go into the house again.

"Yes, young man?"

"My I'm-too-scared-of-this-house-so-I-can't-go-in disease is starting to act up." _Yeah,_ I silently added to myself. _The first sign is nausea caused by grotesque images of yourself being eaten by a monster._

"Well, just do something about it quickly; I want to be upstairs in a few minutes." She didn't really sound impatient, but I could tell she was in a hurry. Ten seconds passed with her just slowly tapping her foot. "Has it passed now?" she then asked.

"Uh-huh." _No._

"Hurry up then." It took her about three seconds to disappear up a flight of stairs near the entrance.

"O-oi! Wait for me!" I took a quick sprint up the stairs after her, but she was barely at the top of the second floor.

"You're alright, surely?" she questioned me, making her way up more stairs, these ones twisting around in several tight circles.

"Y-yeah. Why?"

"'Cause you look like you're going to puke," she stated matter-of-factly.

_No, you think?_ "Ah. Well, it will pass." _That's right, Usopp. Stay strong._ _You're doing good…_

After we reached the third floor and few more concerned glances from the lady, we stopped.

"Okay," she began. "You just need to stay in here to watch the house and keep it safe; hopefully you won't have to really leave this room if all goes well."

"Well, I should be able to go to the kitchen and bathroom, right?"

My award for being such a genius with that comment was a 'What are you talking about? Of course, dimwit' look, but she still answered, "Of course."

"Alright. So, I've got that, but why don't you think I'll need to be anywhere in the house _but_ here? That doesn't make sense! This place is _huge!_"

She mumbled an, "Oh," and then inquired, "Are you a tourist to this island?"

I tittered unsurely and said, "Yeah. I'm a tourist… But, wait! Do you have any idea of the _adventures_ I went through to get to this island? First of all, there was this humon—"

"That's wonderful," the woman chuckled, sounding kind of amused. "I hope you'll have a chance to tell everything to me later." Giving me a small smile, she clarified, "And, you know what you're doing, right?"

"Yeah. Watching a house for tonight and tomorrow."

"Exactly, but… whatever you do…" A shadow suddenly fell over the woman's face when the sun's light was completely gone from its set. How had night come so quickly? I shivered. Her voice was suddenly almost completely changed with the menace and warning coming from it, and I felt the sudden urge to scream. "…be _sure _to pay attention to all the signs I've put up. And—" Pointing at a door with a sign that somehow appeared past spooky and read **Whatever you do, do **_**not**_** open this door**, the woman cautioned, "Don't ever—_EVER—_no matter what, open. That. Door." Each of the last three words were enunciated with a painful jab to my chest. "_Got it?_"

"Yes, m-ma'am. I u-understand," I wavered, giving the woman a weak nod while starting to quake worse than a tree caught in a bad storm. Also, I had to swallow to try and moisten my dry throat.

"Are. You. _Sure?_"

"Yes!" I said, accidentally yelping that single word.

Out of nowhere, a delighted and humongous grin spread across her face, the 'u-crap-ur-pants-nao' shadow disappearing with the moon that was already rising. "Good," she jovially announced. "Okay! I'll be seeing you later, then! TTFN, ta-ta for now!"

And, with one last pearly white smile, she left the room.

A minute after, I heard the front door slam shut, so I knew the woman had left. I wanted to leave, too, now, after that 'speech.' But, I couldn't. I was too petrified.

I hadn't moved since I'd squealed that 'Yes!' to her. After about another minute had passed, I gave myself a chance to relax. Taking a couple wobbly steps towards a nearby and plush-looking couch in the next room over, I completely let myself collapse onto it after reaching the couple inch mark between me and the closest cushion.

_Whump._

"Ooooh…" I sighed. "What have I gotten myself into?" There was nobody in the house; that had been clarified in the flier.

"Wait!" I yelled at nobody. "That means that I'm all…" I sunk into the couch a bit more. "…_alone._" A cold gust of wind blew by right at that moment, causing me to shiver at just that oh-so-perfect moment. Outside of a window in the room, I saw the moon rising at a tedious pace, almost like it was taunting me, saying, "I'll make sure this night never ends! Just for you, Usopp," with an evil grin spreading across its face.

"Who am I kidding?" I bellowed. "This is only my imagination! There's no need to be afraid! It's merely a house! …With a creepy sign on a door… But, no matter! Sogeking would—"

"Is somebody out there?" squeaked a small voice, sucking all of my newfound courage away.

"Huh?" Yup. The short burst was definitely gone. "Who's that?"

It hastily replied, "I just want to be out of here for a bit."

I grabbed my slingshot along with some Stars out of my satchel. "Who are you?"

"If anyone should be asking that, it would be _me_." The voice suddenly growled at the last word, losing all of its original sound of helplessness, and that caused me to involuntarily jolt off the couch. (And land ungracefully on the floor, face first.) "I was the first here…"

"Th-tha-that's _scary!_" I screeched.

"Oh!" it quickly spoke up, sounding helpless again. "I'm sorry if I scared you."

"_You think!_ And, what are you? A monster that wants to eat me, I'll bet!"

"I just want food. I'm hungry."

"What do you want to eat, freak?_ Me?_ And, that's not answering my question!"

"Please?"

"No you can't eat me! …Wait. Where are you?"

"I'm in a room. It's all locked up and small."

I got up from the floor and walked over to where the voice was coming from. Unfortunately, it was _exactly_ where I'd hoped it _wouldn't _be.

It was the **Don't come in or you die **door.

"Please? Will you give me some food?"

"I-I don't know… I don't think I should…"

"All you have to do is get some food, throw it in real quick, and then shut the door again."

"I…"

"Please?"

_That voice… it growled. But… was it only my imagination?_ I shook my head. _No. I'm sure it wasn't. It's sure to be hungry, though. How long has it been in there? …'Not supposed to open it no matter what,' huh? If I do, I probably won't get all the money, and then Nami will—No! I'm going to help whatever is in there!_

"What's taking so long?" the voice moaned. "I haven't eaten in for_ever_!"

I bravely proclaimed, "Alright! Don't fear! Captain Usopp will help you!"

There was silence for about three seconds, and then it said, "I thought you were going to rhyme for a moment."

After putting my slingshot and Stars away and starting to rummage through some cupboards that were above the couch I'd flopped down on, I called back, "What? Do you like rhymes?"

"No."

"Well, it's good I didn't, then."

"Yeah…"

Thirty seconds of just me rustling through cupboards, and then the voice stated, "By the way, my name is Timothy Dugall."

"Timothy, huh? Are you that woman's son? You sound really young…" I stopped my rummaging to think about what I'd just said. "Ew!" I suddenly 'ew'ed. "I mean, are you her grandson or something and you broke an heirloom or something the other day?"

"No."

With the sound of rustling of searching through cupboards again filling the air again, I tried to clear up what this kid was saying. "Then what are you to that woman?"

"I live here."

"Huh. Then why are you locked up?"

"It's stupid. I don't wanna talk about it."

"Whatever." I rolled my eyes. _Dumb kid… Wait, but that woman would be the bad person if she locked up someone his age, right?_

"Do you have any food yet?"

All I'd been able to find were two small slabs of meat; a half-eaten sandwich with lettuce, ham, and tomato (it looked like it had been made that morning, so it was still rather fresh); an apple, and a peeled orange that had been almost completely devoured. "Better than nothing, I guess…" I mumbled to myself while trying to balance and keep everything in my arms while at the same time trying not to trip over anything that I might miss in the increasing darkness.

"Are you ready _yet?_" Timothy, regaining his ferocious growl that I'd forgotten about for the last few minutes. "Ack! I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…"

_Geez… _Should _I give… him… this? What if I really shouldn't—_

"Come _ooon_…"

"Okay." I gave in, sighing. I opened the door with my foot_—_cautiously and slowly pushing down the door handle with my foot and then trying to get the tip of my shoe behind it to pull it open_—_since my hands were too full to do the job. The door slowly swung open, and I tossed the food in. However, not being able to close the door immediately was apparently a huge flaw in what I had done.

Something small and fuzzy brushed against my leg, and I jumped up in shock. I took a fleeting look down at my foot to see what had done that, but there was nothing there. Looking around the room for anything that could be living, I still saw nothing. Shrugging and shaking my head, I looked into the room but didn't see anything there except for the food I'd just put in.

"What the…?" I scratched the back of my head, now feeling uneasy. "That was probably the wrong thing to d—OUCH!"

A sharp pain shot up my leg and I looked down to see a white mouse. It quickly scurried away, sounding like it was chuckling to itself, if that was even _possible_.

"Mouse!" I yelled after it. "Get back here!" As quickly as I could, I took off after the mouse, taking a wild assumption that was what had been in the forbidden room.

Too bad for me, with it being all dark, I tripped over a stool that I hadn't noticed before and went flying down a corridor and smacked into a wall, nose-first this time. "Ow… ow ow ow…" I moaned, massaging my nose. "What the heck…?"

There was that mischievous squeaking again.

"Alright, you know what, mouse? I'm going to catch you!"

Timothy's small voice answered, "Good luck with that, klutz!"

_So it _is_ Timothy!_ I took off again for that voice and soon found myself on the first floor.

"Now where are you…?" I whispered to myself.

"Over here, nut-job!"

There the mouse was, whiskers and nose twitching, on a marble countertop only ten feet away.

Taking one strong step towards the counter, I then leapt at the mouse as hard as I could and grabbed it!

"Idiot!" he laughed at me. "Can't catch me like _that_!"

_Huh?_ He slipped out of my hands and landed back on the counter.

"Now, let's just see if you _can_ catch me!" Timothy taunted. Didn't move… just stood there… treating me like some stupid—

"I'm not an idiot, you know!" I yelled. There were many more attempts on my part to grab Timothy, but every time he slipped out of my hands, no matter how hard I squeezed to keep him from doing just that.

"See? You are an idiot." A smug smirk crossed his mouse face.

"What _are_ you? What Devil Fruit did you eat?"

"Devil Fruit? What's that?" he asked. I could tell he wasn't mocking me. He sincerely was curious.

"Forget it," I snarled at him. _What can I use to…? Oh!_ There were tons of hand towels hanging on the walls, and they all looked like they had tough fibers that could hopefully grab something and keep it in place.

"Try again, try again!" Timothy sang.

Quickly, I lunged for a towel, and before Timothy had a chance to even squeak, I had it wrapped around him.

His beady, black eyes suddenly flashed yellow for a moment, lighting up the space around us briefly, and he glared at me but didn't struggle. He didn't even try to pull a wisecrack on me.

The first thing I knew I was supposed to do was put him back into his room. And not. Open. That door. _Again._

—

Once I'd put Timothy back into that room and slammed its door shut, I took a nap on the couch and ended up falling asleep for much longer than I'd intended to.

I woke up to the sun shining straight in my eyes, and to try and get rid of its effects faster I blinked a few times. "Geez," I yawned, sitting up and stretching. "What time is it?" Now with that thought pacing through my mind, I set to work searching for a clock.

_No clock…_ Onto the next room. _No clock…_ Next room. _No clock here…_ _What about the next room?_ That went on for way longer than I would have liked it to, so that probably added quite a bit of time. Plus, this house was _huge_, as I said before, and what was scary about that description of it was that I hadn't even added any exaggerations to it.

Shaking my head slowly, I still couldn't wrap my mind around what the purpose of such a huge place was. _The old lady probably just wanted a big place to show off to her Bunco pals._ I didn't restrain a snicker at that thought. _But, really. Where is a clock?_

Then I found one. A plain, circular clock that said 'I dun get it' under the intersection of the clock hands and all the numbers had fallen to the bottom of the clock, just for a joke or something. "Alright…" I muttered to myself. "So judging from the hour and minute hands, it's… 3:30? Crap! I really slept in!"

A short moment of contemplation passed. "What am I going to do, though, now? I'm supposed to be in here and watch over the house until the sun sets tonight, but until then, there really is… nothing. …Huh."

I was going to make something to eat and go to the bathroom_—_those were givens_—_but other than that…

"_Uuuuussoppp!_"

"Timothy! What the heck! How do you know my name?"

"You went through a case of schizophrenia or something last night while bringing me back up here, pretending you were someone named Sogeking while talking to yourself at the same time."

Complete facepalm moment.

"Timmy," I called up, "just stay in there, will you?"

"Fine. Like I'm not used to it, anyway," I heard him pout.

"Good." The next twenty minutes were really only me just eating and using the bathroom. There wasn't much decent food just lying around; I think I gave most of it to Timmy. Besides, most of it was all flour and ingredients and stuff, and it would've taken me a while to make something even half-decent, so I didn't bother.

Back upstairs, I decided I wanted to look out a window, just because I had nothing better to do. About a half mile from the house, a cheerful-looking carnival was going on, with people waving blankets and stuff at each other, running around with them on like capes, lying down on the blankets like a bed, and doing almost anything with them. I even saw someone making a small raft with a blanket used as the sail.

"Aw…" I moaned. "That looks like fun. Everybody in the crew is probably there, too, aren't they…?" It was all I could do to tear myself away from the window and all those happy looking people. "Just a few more hours, Usopp. Just a few more…"

There was frantic scratching at the inside of **Open and you're dead** door, but it sounded like there was some huge creature scrabbling to get out. "Timothy?" I asked. "Is that you?"

No answer, just a continued scratching. _There's no _way_ that's a mouse! It's way too big!_

I did my best to ignore it, leave the room, hum a song over it, anything, but I could have sworn I heard it no matter where I was in the house. "Alright! I'll open it!" I yelled angrily. "Be a jerk, Timothy!"

Cracking the door open, I immediately looked down to look for him as a mouse again, but, instead, an armadillo waddled out, looked up at me, curled into a ball, and then rolled away.

"Armadillos don't do that!" I shouted after it. But, then… I smelled this reeking odor wafting from the **Die now** room, and it made me gag. "W—" For a moment I couldn't continue because a cough wracked me for a second. "What _is_ that?" I coughed again, but not as strongly. With a quick peek into the room, I saw that the two slabs of meat were both only three-quarters finished, the sandwich had a couple bites taken out of it, the apple was only a core, and the orange was untouched._ Uh-huh. So much for 'starving,' _I thought, meekly picking them up to dump them into a nearby garbage can.

Not even a second after all of those were disposed of, I heard Timothy goad,"Come and get me, dumb nose!"

Exactly like last night, I chased after him, and he was heading for the front door again.

He was bouncing down some stairs when I saw him, almost to the entrance. "I… got ya!" I shouted, taking a wild dive at the armadillo.

I reached him, but my hands slipped off like I'd tried to grab an ice cube. "Huh?"

Timothy gave me a mocking raspberry, with his tongue sticking out of his armadillo mouth.

"You have _no_ idea how weird that looks!" I shouted.

"I don't care! So long, suckah!"

_The towel… the towel was what—_

Jumping off the ground with all my might and towards a towel hanging on a hook latched onto the wall, I managed to grab one.

Timothy was getting ready for an epic leap of his own towards the doorknob when…

"I got you!" I triumphantly yelled. "And, back into your room you go!"

Timothy's eyes flashed yellow again, and he gave me the same glare as he did last night.

Up two flights of stairs and tossed into the room went Timothy.

"And now _that's _over," I sighed.

Right on time—not a moment too late—I heard the front door open. "Oh, thank goodness!" I rejoiced. Rushing back down to the door, I gladly hugged the woman who had left me there last night. "Thank you for coming back!"

"Hey, I saw two new hedges up in the front yard," she pointed out. There was a small smile on her lips that I shouldn't have been able to notice. "A mouse and an armadillo? What strange animals."

All I felt like I could do was stare after her with my eyes bulging. "What do you—?"

"You want that money, right? Come on. I'll give it to you."

With a sudden right turn into a room I hadn't noticed before, the woman opened up something that looked identical to a treasure chest. There were at least ten large, white towels all folded up. When the woman took them out and set them aside, there was a large layer of berry lying at the bottom.

"Wow, lady! How did you—!"

"Here you go." She gave me a bag filled with coins and bills, her smile that I'd seen at the entryway magnified.

"Th-than-thank you…"

"No prob! Too bad you missed out on the Towel Day celebration, though. It was a blast! Now it's time for you to go, however. You got what you wanted, right?" The friendliness didn't leave her voice, but I could tell she really did want me to leave.

"Oh… right… Well, bye, lady."

"Goodbye!"

When I stepped out of the house, the sun was already setting, and I saw a bunch of tents—made of towels, not blankets like I'd assumed earlier—being taken down. Some half-eaten food like slices of cake and hot dogs had been left behind on the ground, but other than the towels that made up the tents, there were none others left behind.

—

"Wow, Usopp! Great job!" Nami celebrated. "Now I'll be able to buy all those clothes I wanted! Oh, right. And, here's _your_ money." She grabbed a smaller bag of her own out of a drawer and put some carefully counted berry into it. "Have fun spending it. You probably would have used it all yesterday if you were at the festival, though."

"Nami!"

"What can I say?" she protested. "It was fun!"

"Geez… Oh, and, Nami, did you find out anything about that house I was at all of yesterday?"

"That house? Oh. Just some dumb story about how that mansion was there before anybody settled on the island. It was also mentioned how for one day every year, two different monsters come out to try and terrorize the island. Some people mentioned how it's learned how to talk since humans have been around it so much, but it's all made-up flip-flop." She saw my surprised look. "Oh, drop it, Usopp. You _know_ it's all fake, right?"

* * *

_I'm _really_ sorry for the rushed ending. -_-" But, guess what? Today's Towel Day! For real! (Not kidding.) I really wanted to submit this today, and it's bedtime right now, so... that's why it's sorta rushed. Sorry. Anyways, the 'Towel Day Monster' turned out _**way**_ differently than I intended. The whole 'can't catch the mouse-armadillo creature thing unless you're using a towel' was actually part of some random dream, and I thought it was perfect for Towel Day... but I couldn't remember Usopp's good reason (Usopp was the character in my dream, too, actually. :P) for letting out Timothy. I just came up with his name today. Check his initials then today's 'name'. ;D ...TD. Towel Day. There's no meaning behind his name other than that xD Sorry, OC haters. That was honestly unintentional. xP (Towel Day is a holiday celebrating Douglas Adams, the author of _The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy_! :D)__ Actually, did you know that today is also Wine Day and National Tapdancing Day? ...And the day the first _Star Wars_ movie came out in theaters? Or something._

_Thanks a ton for reading! ^^ And, remember, reviews will always be appreciated. (It'd also be nice to know how many people read this whole fic! xD)_


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